Living Life

Friends

2009-12-25T16:47:00.001-08:00

Friends are so nice to have and can totally warm the soul in a way that family members can not. I do love my family but I'd go completely crazy without the company and support of my friends. A couple of them have seen me and supported me through some tough emotional things. They just have an understanding that my family does not.

In another manner, I have decided I'm not going to post pictures on Facebook anymore. The reason for this is, after talking with other photographers, that people can save the pictures to their harddrive and erase my company name and use the pictures all they want to. I'm a photographer working hard for my money and call me selfish or whatever, but I expect to be paid for my services. I am a company just like Nordstrom and Macy's and people would not begin to steal from them.

Hands down...

2009-12-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

Italian is the sexiest language on the face of this earth!!!

Normal Again

2009-12-12T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm breathe normally outside again! The weather has returned to it's normal Colorado cold which is much more bearable than what it was Sun-Tues. I even put on flip-flops today!

I'm ready to kick start my photography. Alas, it will have to wait until next year for classes and more shoots. Praying for the best...

Am I in Canada?

2009-12-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

The weather has been beyond cold the last 3 days. I've never really dressed appropriately (mainly because it's bearable) for the cold but believe me, I've been wearing layers and I still can't feel my toes or tushie at the end of the night. Yesterday, the temperature never left the single digits and in my job, it was incredibly brutal. I never took off my coat, scarf or ear muffs and even though I was wearing 3 pairs of socks, my toes were still numb. Did I mention that I was also wearing 2 layers of clothes not including the coat?! Today, I think it maybe got to about 10 degrees, however, the sun did come out for a little while this afternoon!! :) We're making progress! You see, Denver rarely has days like this where it is just absolutely freezing with the snow falling all 3 days. You want to know something? It is warmer in Chicago and New York. YAH! That is just wrong. I told a co-worker yesterday that if I wanted to live in an ice cold environment, I would move to Iceland and buy an eskimo suit. Well now that I know how to dress for winter a little more appropriately, maybe I can tolerate going to Chicago and New York during the hard winter months and not freezing.

Moving On

2009-12-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

Now that I've received my "absolutely ineligible for rehire" status, it's time to move on. I'm going to refocus my energy into my photography business. I could care less about becoming a flight attendant if I am getting more photography jobs. I need people to spread the word of my business. Help me get more work. I'm starting a class (or 2) after the new year to help me better understand how to create amazing photos.

Yesterday was the last day I wasted my time upset and crying over InFlight. Based upon what some other people have told me, I wouldn't want to be with the company anyway. It's petty and too many women in control so therefore it's very catty.

Peace

2009-11-27T20:53:00.000-08:00

While I am still angry and frustrated with that whole situation I spoke of previously, I feel some amazing peace at the same time. The waiting game and not knowing if they would hire me back was about to try drive me absolutely crazy. Now I know the answer and can move on with my life. Talk about some peace...

News

2009-11-26T11:08:00.001-08:00

I got some of the most disheartening news a few days back. I'm not going to say what the news is but it hurt me very much and the situation should have never been lied about. Aside from the news of my friend last month, this is the worst thing that happened to me this year. This whole entire situation was horrible and totally unexpected.

Conversations & Hugs

2009-11-19T23:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I will tell you I have fun at work and I'm not lieing. My friend from Chicago was working Tuesday and had about 2 hours here...which fell perfectly with my 2 hour break! So we had lunch and just hung out chatting. Those days are the best days of work...when I can just give a friend a hug! And it's on the those days that my smile is truly genuine!

Sunday night, I had a long conversation with a good friend. This conversation was one of those that I have come to cherish. Talking about friendships and relationships and how important they are. It's so nice to know that there are still people out there looking out for your best interests. Trying to help me realize my full potential and help me become everything I was intended for.

Something very important is coming up soon. Something I've wanted for a very long time...and almost had. It makes me nervous, scared, excited, smiley. I've learned quite a few lessons along the way and have become a better person for it. Thanks to those of you who have helped me realize some of those important lessons!

Changes

2009-11-15T20:16:00.001-08:00

I always say that I'm going to make significant lifestyle changes...and I usually do...for a couple of weeks. And I'm getting tired of always falling off the bandwagon. I want to lose weight (about 25 lbs) but it seems that every time I commit myself to it, I lose 6-7 lbs and then fall off the bandwagon. I'm getting tired of selling myself short. I can do it because I have done it before. But I've always had some type of motivation to do it. First it was going to Europe for a semester (lost nearly 15 lbs that summer). My last semester in college, I gained all that back plus some. The summer after graduating, I went to work for the airlines and the only uniform piece I had didn't fit so I lost about 10 lbs. This summer, I gained 5 during InFlight training and then when I was kicked out, I gained another 8 lbs. This past month (due to mourning and stress), I have lost 6 lbs. Plus, I stopped drinking sodas (yes, I finally quit drinking that stuff). However, this past week has been hard on my emotions and I've been turning to food for my comfort (and I've been really bored). I don't want to turn to food for comfort. I need a support system (not just my parents even though they are great). I think I hide under this weight. What am I hiding from? constant rejection, not feeling good enough, loneliness

I want to live up to my potential and exceed it. The fear of rejection always takes over. Someone please help me lose the weight, lose the fear and make me understand that I am good enough and more. I'm afraid words won't help in this situation. Actions are more necessary.

Life Right Now

2009-11-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

People who don't take their jobs seriously kind of bug me. At least care that you have a job and even after the countless times you screw up, be thankful management still keeps you around. And at least care a little bit about what you do. Maybe I take my job too seriously but I think I just want to prove that I am a good employee and a valuable asset to the company (especially after what someone said to me this summer).

In a month, I can re-apply & interview for the flight attendant position with my current company. I know what I need to do and how to go about it. I just hope they look at me as an individual rather than me as my file. Please pray about it as this is something (aside from photography) that I've wanted to do since I was a little girl. I just want a chance!

Good Day

2009-11-02T14:18:00.000-08:00

So today I did a little what I like to call crew stalking. This takes some time, effort and plain boredom but I'm glad I did it today. I found out that 3 of my InFlight training friends were going to be flying through today...one of which I haven't seen since that day in June. I was so happy to see and chat with Miss Stacy Raffo!!! She was very encouraging about the whole situation that happened. I also got to see my InFlight roomie and it is always a pleasure to see her since we got along so well in training. I also get to see my good friend Christina later on this evening! So overall, getting up before the crack of dawn was worth my sleepiness today.

Photography

2009-10-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

I just recently bought a brand new Nikon D300S along with an 18-200 mm VR lens. And I had the pleasure of shooting the Brock family last weekend in Dallas. Such a cute little family. And let me just say that you can definitely tell that I'm using a different camera.

Photography is my passion!!! I love to hang out with people and chat while shooting them. I'm looking for business! And the only way to get business is through word of mouth. If you like my photography, would you please tell your friends and family about me?? I will travel to wherever, whenever! I'm currently looking for a couple who is head-over-heels in love with one another and who will let me photograph them! If you know of anyone, please let me know!

Life & Loss

2009-10-16T22:58:00.001-07:00

Never did I think I would have to deal with the kind of emotions I've been dealing with the last few days and will continue to feel. Never did I think that I would have to listen to someone tell me that one of our friends was killed so tragically. And I would never wish for someone to see the horrible picture on the internet that you would never even wish your worst enemy to see.

A friend of mine was killed in horrible accident this week. I hope that you none of you have to deal with such a loss. My pain is just unthinkable and I really wish there was someone I could talk to about how I'm feeling. I keep going on with my days and I don't forget to laugh at some point during the day. It's hard but I do it anyway. I would never wish this type of pain on anyone.

She was a great friend and she respected everyone. She had this uncanny ability to make everyone feel included and she brightened up your day. I will miss talking to such a wonderful person.

If you are one of my friends, expect more hugs from me. Expect me to tell you that I love having you as my friend and I enjoy your presence in my life. You never know when something might happen and if you are my friend, I plan to treasure you just a little bit more than I did previously.

Rest in Peace my friend.

Health Insurance

2009-10-14T07:20:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, an email was sent out to all employees of my company saying that they were taking away ALL HMO's and PPO's and people would be enrolled in a HSA (health savings account). While this is good for people like me who only go to the doctor 2-3 times a year max, it is not good for people with pre-existing conditions. I have been really worried about one of my friends who has a severe allergy to all things wheat and dairy. If she eats any of those or something with a by-product of wheat or dairy, she has to go to the hospital to get her stomach pumped or she could die. She could go medically bankrupt because of what the company has decided will benefit the employees. I am saddened or maybe even angry at my company for choosing this route for the "good" of the company. People with pre-existing conditions will no longer be able to afford to work for my company because we already don't make enough money and what benefits or incentives we did have, well they've all been taken away in the last 6 months. I was going to sign up for medical insurance when open enrollment occurred but not anymore, as chosen for me by the company. I guess I'm going to have to get a job at Starbucks working 20 hours a week so that I can have full medical insurance and not have to worry if I need to go to the hospital.

I do like working for my company which evident in more ways than one. I will be sad to see the good, dedicated employees leave because they are now forced to choose between dying or having horrendous medical bills.

I do love you but this was a bad decision.

Negative Lately? Not here!

2009-10-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

Normally when I'm at home by myself with nothing to do, I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my head. Today was just a tad bit different. I did not have any thoughts at all. For once, I turned my brain off and simply enjoyed relaxing on my day off!

Excited for Dallas in 2 weeks!!! Here I come Texas! My native stomping grounds!

Talking Face-to-Face & Believing

2009-10-04T19:28:00.001-07:00

I realized today that often times, we use Facebook to find out how people are feeling or what is going on their lives. We are socializing over the Internet rather than giving someone a call. Personally, I like to talk to people on the phone. I like to hear people's voices and hear the laughter, especially when I live to far away to see these people. So, I decided today that I will not update my Facebook status until Nov. 1 and maybe not even then. It will be hard for me to do because I like to see what people write in response to my status updates. My friends, I would love to talk to you on the phone sometime.

Some random things have been floating through my head today and some of that was great things while some of these were said to me. I wrote on pieces of paper these things:

-My dream is not over. It is only beginning.

-I am a good friend.

-I am beautiful.

-I am worthy of being loved.

-I deserve great things.

I taped these sheets of paper on my wall in front of my bed so I wake up to them each morning and go to sleep to them each night. I know these things are true but I don't believe them. This is my attempt to make me believe. I have never felt good enough for anything and sometimes I wonder if that's why crap seems to happen so much. Or maybe it's because I don't believe and have faith in myself.

I tend to let fear control my life. No wait, I always let fear control my life. Example: I'm seriously into photography and have been wanting to ask this couple if they would help me out with my portfolio. I have been wanting to ask since the beginning of July and it's now the beginning of October. What is wrong with me? It's the fear of being rejected.

What is something you struggle with?

9.30.09 Photo Shoot

2009-09-30T18:26:00.001-07:00

"Get Over It"

2009-09-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Please do not tell me to "get over it" unless you know what is going on. But you do not want to be around people unless they are happy. Don't you know I need people not just when I am happy but also when I am sad and need just a hug. A hug is all I'm asking for and oh a shoulder to cry on would be nice as well. I'm still hurting, not as much as I used though. And the past week has been particularly hard and I would just like a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

Bid Line and Seniority

2009-09-27T08:07:00.000-07:00

After 2 years and some months, seniority is starting to work in my favor. I have about 20-25 below me on the full-time bid list. So the bid line that I got is PM with Fri-Sat off and I'm trading off Sun and working Mon & Tues AM. WOOHOO!!! I'm going to know what it's like to have the weekends off. I don't think I've ever had a job that I have had the weekends off.

Sorry I know I talk about work all the time but that's usually how I spend my waking hours. Oh yah and working out.

Disclaimer to Photos

2009-09-06T19:35:00.001-07:00

As I was looking at the pictures on my brother's computer, I noticed the coloring was why off. When the photos are printed, the pictures look warmer and not so blah. I haven't figured out how to get the color to transfer from what I've done to the internet.

More Photography

2009-09-06T18:34:00.001-07:00

Photography

2009-09-06T17:45:00.001-07:00

Please let me know what you think!

The Travel Bug

2009-09-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

When my parents and I were talking about the situation that happened early this summer, my dad said something to me that made complete sense. He told me that I have the "travel bug." And he is very true. I love to go to new places and see new things. And I hate being in one place for too long. I think that was instilled in me when I was little and my dad worked for Continental Airlines because we flew all over the US. Granted, there is still so much of the US that I haven't seen. Having the travel bug is probably why I go crazy if I stay in Denver for longer than 1 month. I usually don't care where I go as long as there is something different to look at than what I look at every other day. This month I won't go anywhere unless one of my friends has a good overnight and I go hang out with them. Otherwise, it will have to wait until next month!

And perhaps having the travel bug is why it seems near impossible for me to even fathom leaving the airline industry and the fantastic travel benefits that come along with the job!

And People Wonder What's Wrong With the World Today

2009-08-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

As you are aware, I work in a job where I encounter hundreds if not thousands of people on a daily basis. And believe me, I've seen all types. And the type that sticks out to me most are those families with 2-3 kids and the parents think that the world revolves around them. Last night was the worst I've seen though. 3 kids were sitting in my boarding area when it was time to close the flight. Mind you I made 3 final boarding calls when I'm required to make only 1. I finally asked them where their parents were. Daddy was sitting right across the way listening to my boarding announcements reading a book, even after I made the final. I close nearly 2 minutes late trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. They don't move so I close my door. Next thing I know, I hear fists banging on my door. Sorry buddy, not my fault that you did not heed my 3 final boarding calls and get on the flight when you were suppose to. Another gate agent called me and then my shift manager asking if the flight was closed. I proceeded to tell her the story of how they were just sitting there ignoring me. As I'm about to open the door to go back to the gate area, I hear very vivid yelling and the mother screaming to the shift manager that everyone was taking my side. Of course management will take my side, I didn't do anything wrong! Another agent proceeds to tell me that the father, after banging on the door and I didn't answer, started kicking the door...in front of all 3 of the kids. What kind of behavior do these parents think they are teaching their children? They are teaching them that they can scream and yell to people with less appealing jobs but who have more authority. They are teaching the kids that they can act how ever they want to when they don't get there way. I would like to think that there are people out there who still raise kids to respect in a position of authority and to not act like an idiot when they don't get their way. I know there are people still out there but I do not ever come in contact with those. Here's a lesson: the world does not operate on your time schedule especially in the airline industry. So when I make a final boarding call, I'm telling you that you better get yourself on the plane or get left behind. I'm not making a suggestion. If you chose not to get on the plane for whatever reason, do not scream at me or my co-workers for your negligence. I will not delay all the passengers who did listen to my boarding announcements.

What we think of people...

2009-08-29T05:48:00.001-07:00

What we think of people and what people truly are can be completely different. I learned something about someone this week and it totally changed my opinion of them...in a good way! It made me look at this person as a normal person who maybe isn't so judgmental as I originally thought they were. I love seeing people in a new way!

Church

2009-08-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

I have always believed that there is a God which I commonly refer to as the Higher Power. I do not believe you have to go to church every weekend in order to be saved, although many people try to tell me otherwise. When I go to church, I go to Flatirons Community Church. They are not your typical, hypocritical, judgmental church. They accept people for who they are and therefore, anyone feels comfortable going to church there. They try to help people out of their current lifestyles and addictions instead of shutting them out. Flatirons loves people for who they are and that, I believe, is the definition of Christianity. I finally stepped out of my box and I'm so glad I did. I have so many friends that I know I wouldn't have if I still had the you-do-that-I'm-too-good-for-you mindset. And let me tell you, I would have missed out on some amazing friends!

Reunion

2009-08-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

On my weekend (wed/thurs), I flew out to Chicago because I knew that one of my friends from training had the same days off I did. Little did I know that my other two friends had the same day off as well. When I woke up on Wednesday morning, there was a text message on my phone saying there would be a cookout at Rya's house that night. I squealed in excitement!!! During the day, Christina and I went out to lunch and went up to the top of the Sears Tower which, by the way, was awesome! Martha came to pick us up in downtown and with the traffic, it took us nearly 2 hours to get to Rya's house. That night was so much fun and exactly what I needed!!! We ate, we drank and we just had a good time! And Rya spoiled us with all of the good food!

Life

2009-07-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

As I have been off today with nothing more than laundry and cooking to do, I have been contemplating what I can do to live my life to the fullest. I didn't come up with much yet but I did come up with a very important one: do what you love to do. Whether it be work or extracurricular activities, make time to do what you love. This past week, I had the pleasure of doing 2 photo shoots. Photography is my one true passion in life and I have been missing it so much! My great fear of asking people to let me do their photos is rejection. I have a fear of rejection and therefore I am missing out on something that I love to do. Seriously, make time and gain confidence to do what you love to do.

Here's What I Really Feel Like

2009-07-16T22:40:00.001-07:00

I think it's lovely that some people are so insecure with themselves that they attempt to ruin other people by lying and playing the victim, when in fact they are the perpetrator. Well, karma is a bitch and the Lord above doesn't like liars. It's a good anything I don't lie.

AND:

I want to know what someone had to gain by making up stories and lying just to get ahead and yet ruined a dream for me. Thank you to whoever you are and I really hope that one day you will know what that feels like.

I have been having a rough week just dealing with not being a flight attendant and wanting to know who could have had out for me so badly. Justice will be served some day and I will never know about it, but maybe God will tell me all about it one day! 4 weeks later, that fateful day is still so fresh in my memory and just about everything that went on during training is fresh as well. I never did anything to anyone that would make them turn around and do such a vicious thing to an undeserving human being.

When I see the suspected perpetrator(s), they better run and hide from me because at this point in time, I don't think there is any way I could be civil towards them. Who knows...maybe I would because I have the Man upstairs on my side and He will pull me through anything.

I just have to trust that God is doing all of this for a reason and that He is looking out for my best interests. Everything happens for a reason and I just hope that reason is revealed soon.

Job

2009-07-13T07:39:00.001-07:00

As much as I complain about having my job, I'm thankful to have it. I don't have to sit around wondering where my next phone bill or car payment is going to come from. I'm better off than a lot of people right now and for that I'm grateful!

Life dealt me some cards

2009-07-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I am not a flight attendant and I never will be for SkyWest. They dismissed me from training 6 days before graduation without giving me any reasons why. I cried for 3 hours which included the flight home. The pain I felt was absolutely horrible and I would never, ever wish it upon anyone. I felt so horrible that I didn't even want to wake up in the mornings. I couldn't eat or sleep for several days. Something I've been wanting and waiting for for so long just got ripped from me when I was so close to finishing. I wasn't even sure if I had a job and since they dismissed me on a Friday, I had to wait the entire weekend before calling anyone. It was nearly the death of me!

This monday, I got put back on the schedule for customer service in Denver. It is definitely not what I want to do and I'm so sick of that job! I have enjoyed not working there for the month that I've been gone. I'm not going back to work until Friday and I have been applying for jobs in Denver and in Chicago. I will keep applying for jobs until I can get something that gets me out of customer service or at least where I can go part-time and never ever have to be there.

10 days down, 14 more to go

2009-06-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've been here in SLC for 10 days now and everything is going well. I was stressed out earlier this week based because other FA's told me a particular section of the training would be hard. But, it wasn't and I passed with flying colors. Scores on my tests have been really good! I'm surprised my brain is working so well. This is a crazy, intensive, overwhelming lifestyle that we are living right now but I wouldn't trade it for anything! This group of girls are awesome! Right now as the base bid stands, 17 are going to SLC and 10 are going to Chicago and that includes me.

The Time Finally Came!

2009-05-30T16:32:00.000-07:00

I am less than 48 hours from leaving Denver to go to SLC for training. The freak out happened on Thursday. I was just feeling very overwhelmed, nervous and had a fear of failing. I think the fear of failing will be in the back of my mind until I am finished. Today, I've been trying to get all my clothes and paperwork together. I feel like I'm packing to go to Italy again! I wish! 3 weeks feels like a long time especially when you have to bring business, business casual, and casual attire. Anyway, my flight leaves at 2 on Monday and I'm very excited to go! I'm going to be studying like I've never studied before so don't expect to hear too much from me until the end of June!

Changes

2009-05-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

The new job that I was talking about in my last few posts never happened. I received an acceptance letter in my email in very early November but was never called out to go to training. I thought I was doomed to stay working in customer service forever. The month of April proved to be a very challenging time for me at the gates, especially with the management team. It became a chore for me to even go to work. But in the beginning of May, I found out the reason Republic never called me out. That's because I am meant to work for Skywest (my current company) as a flight attendant. After being told that the company would not be hiring until 2010, they posted recruiting sessions for internal employees only! They just happened to fall on my days off and so I took my suit to the cleaners, booked a hotel, packed my bags and jetted off to Salt Lake City on May 14. On Monday, May 18, I received a congratulatory email for Skywest!!! Training starts on June 2 in Salt Lake. My last day at the gates is Wednesday, May 27. I took the whole weekend off prior to training just so I can have time to pack and get everything in order. I am so beyond excited!! Words cannot express how I feel and have been feeling all week! I will be a Skywest flight attendant soon!

In my list of New Year's resolutions, I haven't accomplished any of it. I do sometimes appreciate the smaller things in life. And I have started working out a couple of times a week!

But I spend even more money eating out and I drink just as much offensive sugary stuff as I did last year. Oh well!

Resolutions

2009-01-01T15:05:00.000-08:00

I don't normally make New Year's resolutions but I decided that since I want 2009 to be a year of changes in my life...maybe I should. Some require a great amount of self control but I need to do it for my health.

1) loose at least 15 pounds...25 would be ideal

2) quit drinking coke, mt. dew, dr. pepper and all that offensive sugary stuff

3) appreciate the smaller things in life

4) spend less money on Starbucks and eating out

End of the Year

2008-12-27T19:16:00.000-08:00

This year has been really weird I feel like. I've been wanting to change my job for the majority of the year. The current job is a thank less job and I've been cussed at everyday for the past 2 weeks. I love the travel benefits and the fantastic discounts I get because I am an airline employee. That is why the new will still be in the airline industry but going inflight I feel will be a lot better. I'm just waiting on that phone call to tell me when to go to training.

I am ready for a new year and I hope it is full of a lot of changes for me. I'm ready to move on in my life and I'm ready to move to do a different location.

So I Thought I Would Enjoy Alone Time

2008-11-28T18:20:00.000-08:00

So my parents have been gone for 4 months now and with my brother being gone all the time too, I've had A LOT of alone time. And after having so much time to think about things, I've decided that I would rather live with parents until they die (or I find someone to live with) than live by myself. Because I crave being with people (most of the time), whether I talk or not. I love to be around people because they make me laugh (and sometimes cry). I guess it is a good thing that I will be going to flight attendant training here in a few months. I CANNOT wait! I'm excited to get a fresh, new start where no one knows me or my past and to do something completely different. And I'm also excited to be living on the east coast because I love it a lot out there.

For everyone who thinks I'm an introvert, well guess again! I love to be around people and like getting to know new people because honestly, people make the world go round!

Comfort Zone

2008-10-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick of people being so close minded about religion. People are trying to tell me that I'm wrong and they go to the only "right" church. How do they know they aren't completely wrong? And then they try to play God and tell me I'm going to hell. I cannot stand people who are judgmental toward other people. I finally got to the end of my rope Tuesday and decided that I am done with that. I don't need that in my life and it is time for me to meet new people.

I've never been one for stepping out of my comfort zone on a regular basis and I really don't like doing it. After the events of Tuesday (which I will not go into detail about), I looked at the small group list on my church's website and found one that I wanted to try out. I emailed the contact person listed and she emailed me back saying they were getting together later that day if I wanted to come. I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and went to this group and started getting to know people who aren't so close minded. This is a huge step for me as an adult and it is going to take some time for me to fully grow up and learn how to be an adult. But, this is the biggest step I have taken so far.

It's Been A While

2008-09-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

My freak out is officially over and have enjoyed having more responsibilities. If I didn't do some of things around the house, they would never get done and well that would be just disgusting. I also enjoy not having to be accountable to anyone.

I finally got my vacation hours at work and am currently in the process of using them all. Alicia and I have been in the UK/Ireland for a week. What an awesome trip this has been! And guess what, we don't hate each other yet! It's so nice to have a friend that doesn't get frustrated easily when things to go right. We have stayed up late each night playing games and chatting on the internet. When we finally do get into bed, we stay up another 30 minutes just talking. Between having her as my best friend and the job that I have, I have learned to take things as they come and just deal with it. Life is too short to get frustrated when things don't happen like you want them to! Growing up has been a huge part of things.

I have finally realized when my brother is pressing my buttons and I actually make an effort to curb his attempts before he gets me too frustrated

Freak Out

2008-07-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

My parents are officially in gone...for a year! Sunday night when they left, the supervisors gave me coverage at me gate so that I could to their gate and sit with them. It was emotional for me! First thing when I walk in the door at work Sunday morning, I was super excited that they were leaving. As the day progressed, excitment turned to not so excited. I went all the way up to the boarding door with them and then watched them walk down the jetway until they turned the corner...and that is when I started crying. Yes, I cried even though this is a super exciting time for me. I was useless the rest of the night at work and so the supervisors just let me wonder around and told me not to clock out until after 9:00. That was pretty sweet! On the way home though was when I started to have the freak out. I have never had so much responsibility and now I have a house to take care of?! I don't know the slightest thing about taking care of a house. Sometimes I wonder how I manage to take care of myself. I called my friend Lindsey and managed to spill all my insecurities to her. It's just like everything that I have been holding in just all the sudden came out.
This will be a good learning experience for me. Hopefully by the time they come back next year, I will be able to afford a place of my own or at least share something with a roommate.
I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me. Hopefully a lot of my insecurities will disappear and I will become a stronger more independent person through all of this.

Seriously?!

2008-07-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

Someone who has only known me for two months told me yesterday that I am still the same person I was 2 years and have the same values as I did two years ago and she was basing it off of the fact that I don't sleep around. You can grow up totally different than I did and you can have enough self-respect to not sleep around. Yes I may still have some of the same values but I am definitely not the person I was. I was a judgmental goody-goody Christian and if you were not following everything I believed in, we were no longer friends. Now, I would never have some friends that I have now because of their lifestyles. I wouldn't trade these friends I have now for anything because they are more honest and real than any friends I've ever had. My belief system has totally changed in a lot of ways. I'm not going to even begin to describe it on this thing. But I love the direction my life is going right now. It just kind of shocked me that someone who doesn't have any self-respect would judge me for having enough respect for myself to not use my body in that way.

I am becoming more and more independent from my parents (well, as the paycheck permits). I am just putting myself out there more and more which is helping me enjoy life a lot more than I did. 2 months ago, I felt like my life was over and I definitely had nothing to live for. Friends did not exist and the people at work were bringing me down with each passing day. Then Argentina happened and my whole mood on life changed. I just needed something and some people to lift my spirits and that was just it. Did I mention I'm traveling a lot? Guess that's what you do when you are friends with a flight attendant.

My parents are leaving on Sunday and they will be gone for 9 months to 1 year and could possibly be extended. I am so stinkin excited!!! It means more responsibility for me (which, yes, I have been itching for)! And it means independence...not always having to check in with someone.

Well, this is getting lengthy so I'm gonna get off of here.

Best Friends

2008-07-16T10:08:00.001-07:00

All my life, I wanted a friend who thinks of me as friend. I've always had those friends where I think more of them then they do of me. Until now! She is not someone I met at church or at Harding. She is a person I met through my job...well my brother met her first and then he introduced us and we started hanging out when we would see each other at work. Funny thing is, she has the same values and morals that I do. Just goes to show that you don't have to go to church to meet people with the same values you have. In April, she asked me when we were gonna go on vacation somewhere. My answer: anytime you want to. Well, it didn't actually happen until the end of May.

You see, I was very upset with people at Harding because I wanted to go for graduation but I couldn't do to work issues. So I called my friends and they hung up on me and then shut off their phone for when I tried to call them again. I was upset for a few days. The thing that upset me the most was that I had just been to Arkansas for a visit just a few weeks before and apparently they were putting on a facade. I cannot stand people who are two-faced and who cannot tell me the honest truth even when I don't want to here it.

So that's when I asked this friend when we were gonna go somewhere. Well, we went to Argentina the very next week and let me tell you, it was the best vacation I've ever been on so far. We had a blast! I've gone several places with her now. We went to Florida to see her mom, I met her in LA on one of her overnights and I've been to Charlotte where she lives. In September, we are going to England, Scotland and Ireland! I am crazy excited about this vacation coming up!!

Since we came back, we have not gone a single day without talking to each other. We've learned so much about each other and the best part is, she tells you the truth and she helps you become a better person. A few weeks ago when we were texting, we were having one of our serious conversations and she told me that I'm one of her best friends! *Shock* I have never had someone call me one of their best friends before! It was and still is the most amazing feeling ever.

You know you have those friends who you think you tell everything to and they won't care what you did or how stupid you were being. However, they do care and their whole idea of you has changed and you are suddenly not as close anymore. Then you have that one person (or maybe two) who you can tell absolutely everything to and it doesn't matter what you did....they are still your friend. She is one of those people who will do stupid things with you, let you vent, be happy with you, and no matter what you do, she is still your friend. I've never known the true meaning of friendship until now. Thank you God, for giving me a friend who shows me what it is like to have a real friend!